Dear Parent,

Nowadays, some parents prefer to say systematically YES to their children’s requests, in hopes to avoid cries and conflicts. Some also believe that letting them do what they want, any way they want and whenever they want, will build their self esteem. The problem is that too much self esteem can be worse than not enough self esteem.

NO is what children need to hear in certain circumstances on their way to become balanced adults. Even if it’s a good strategy to give children broad latitudes to explore the world, it’s also necessary, for their own well being and safety, to give them a few clear rules with strict limits. As much as it’s the children’s natural instinct to test their parents’ determination, it’s the parent’s duty to act as customs officers when their children try to cross forbidden boundaries. It will be difficult in the beginning but, if their parents’ attitude is coherent and persistent, the children will soon get into the habit of respecting rules – and their parents!

In an article mentioned in our selection below, Sue Palmer asks why children are today so unhappy. One of her answer is: “Children need adults not only to love them, but to provide regularity and to set and maintain boundaries for their behaviour. So parents have to balance warmth with a degree of firmness.” Sue Palmer is right about warmth, and she is right about firmness. But more importantly she is right about balance, probably the most important concept in regard to parent-child education (by the way, Edukey’s Workshops on Child Behavior Management provide a lot of useful advice on that matter).

Best Regards and Good Parenting!

John Debonneville
Co-founder and Editor
Edukey Ltd

Child Discipline & Behavior Management

Pushover Parents, Pampered Children

1 July, 2007

A combination of indulgent parents and ever more demanding children is producing a generation of ill-mannered brats. And we are storing up major problems for the future if we don’t change our approach to parenting.
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Child Motivation & Self-Confidence

Too Much Self Esteem Can Be Bad for your Child

6 July, 2007

In the age of Myspace and YouTube and Google Earth, the space between East and West seems to shrink. But in the area of self-perception, especially, there remains a cultural gap that can often be as wide as the ocean.more

Brain Development - Neuroscience

Study of Kids’ Brains Hopes to Answer: What Is Normal?

6 July, 2007

This summer, brain experts funded by the National Institutes of Health are finishing the largest systematic clinical study ever of the neurobiology of youth. more

Brain Development & Early Learning

Let Education Start Early

8 July, 2007

The neurodevelopment of infants is concentrated in the first five years of life. A foetus starts out as a tiny collection of similar cells and in nine months becomes a breathing, crying, feeding, interacting, semi-independent individual with a personality and a mind of her own. more

Child Discipline & Behavior Management

Child Psychologist Urges Parents to Take Control

12 July, 2007

Rothenberg, an adjunct professor of pediatrics at Stanford University and Redwood City psychologist, said many well-meaning parents dedicated to cultivating their children’s self-esteem are erring by following the prevalent advice to negotiate with young children and provide them with ample choices.
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Parenting & Family - Moms

Balancing Act of Motherhood, Full-Time Work Losing Favor

13 July, 2007

After generations of debate about working mothers, only about a fifth say full-time jobs are ideal, fewer than held those views 10 years ago, the Pew Research Center reported in a survey released Thursday.
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Brain Development - Parenting

Why Are Children Today So Unhappy?

17 July, 2007

We live in one of the wealthiest, most technologically advanced nations on earth. We’ve had 60 years of peace and prosperity with free education and medical services for all. Our homes are crammed with labour-saving devices and electronic entertainment that previous generations couldn’t even dream of. Surely our children should be growing happier every year? more

Education in Asia – General Education

Three Things We Can Learn from Comparing the Chinese and American Education Systems

19 July, 2007

A nation of engineers vs. a nation of slackers? According to popular belief, Chinese students ace all of the international tests while American students rank near the bottom with countries we have never heard of. The obvious conclusion, to these naysayers, is that the American schools are inferior to Chinese schools.more

Discipline & Behavior Management

Just Say NO

20 July, 2007

No. One of the shortest, easiest, most used words in the English language. It can also be one of the hardest to utter in any meaningful way – particularly if you are a modern parent. Those who work with children believe that a generation of parents have forgotten how to say no, with the result that as their children grow up they lack the self-control needed to negotiate adult life successfully. more

Child Motivation & Self-Confidence

Hard Work Beats Self-Love

21 July, 2007

In the race for entry to the state’s academically selective high schools, children from Asian backgrounds are at the front of the pack. Next year’s entrants got news of their success recently, and it is a sure bet the extraordinary dominance of those with Chinese-Hong Kong parentage will continue. In some selective high schools more than 80 per cent of entrants have an Asian heritage. more

Education in Asia – General Education

China’s Education System Is a Wake-up Call for America

24 July, 2007

Last month, I joined a group of American legislators and educators for a tour of Chinese schools, the equivalent of our K-12 system. The trip was a real eye-opener.
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Brain Development / School & Teaching

Professor Pans ‘Learning Style’ Teaching Method

29 July, 2007

A leading scientist has dismissed the latest approach to teaching that has been endorsed by the Government and embraced by teachers. Under the new system children are considered to have different “learning styles” and instead of being taught by the conventional method of listening to a teacher, they should be allowed to wander around, listen to music and even play with balls in the classroom.
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