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Archive for Tweens & Teens

Here you can read the news selection on Tweens & Teens in the Parenting & Family category.

How Do I … Talk to my Child about Sex?

10 year old, Aaryan casually asked his mother, “What’s the big deal about vibrating condoms? Aren’t condoms the good guys who keep HIV out of the picture?” His parents were caught off guard. They had no answer to their son’s question. They were used to answering their 10 year old’s questions on the solar system and global warming, but talking about condoms with their 10 year old was something that they were not prepared. They knew that they had to ‘have the talk’ but the details of when and who were comfortably shelved back. Seema, his mother shockingly said, “10 is not an age to talk about sex!” Well, as parents, we always feel its not the right time. But our children are growing up faster than we realize. And they are more aware of their surroundings than we give them credit for.

We agree that talking about sex and puberty with your kids is difficult. Like Lena, a mother of two teenager children says, “I’ vent spoken to my children about sex. I assumed that with the constant bombardment by our media, they will pick up all that they need to.” A wrong approach, according to Dr. Sheetal Pradhan, a child psychologist, who says, “ Media tends to portray emotions in extreme – no doubt the young mind picks up all that’s there, but the child does not know the difference between the good and the bad. He watches the drama unfold between the hero and the heroine…he watches them run around trees and kiss under the stars. He sees everyone around him smiling…and assumes that it’s the right thing to do!” And when Lena was called by the school counselor because her daughter was caught ‘kissing’ in the empty class room, hell hath no fury! But it was too late. Maya, her teenage daughter was experimenting with all that she had seen. Her parents hadn’t spoken to her and she just assumed that it was ok!

Shocking! But more and more parents are faced with daunting challenge of fast forwarding the clock and having ‘the talk’ at an early age. Talking early helps to establish a relationship with your kids that will continue as they get older. So that by the time they reach the rebellious teens, they’ll not only know the facts, but they’ll feel they can be open with you about their feelings and what’s going on in their lives.

Why is talking about sex important?

Children will learn about sex whether or not you want them to. “The sources are many, but it may not always be the right information. A gallimaufry of information would leave your child confused and usually is a trigger to experimenting”, says Dr. Sheetal. She adds, “As a parent, you play a very important role in making sure that the information is right. While our children need to know the biological facts about sex, they also need to understand that sexual relationships involve caring, concern and responsibility. Very often the child sees a movie wherein two people meet and later end up in bed together. But you need to educate them that in real life there is time to get to know each other — time to hold hands, go bowling, see a movie, or just talk. Children need to know that this is an important part of a caring relationship.

When should I start?

A dilemma faced by all parents…but child psychologists across believe earlier the better. When they are young, the first question that would crop up is “where do babies come from?” And before you know it, puberty would hit in and your child needs the right information before they start experiencing bodily changes.

I’m uncomfortable talking about sex with my child

“Thinking back, my parents never educated me about sex. My mother had an open woman to woman conversation only after I got married.” When I asked her, she said, she was uncomfortable. And I don’t blame her. It is difficult talking to your child about sex. How do you get down to the basics? But, avoiding it is not the solution. No one said parenting was going to be easy. The discussion is what is important and being honest about your awkward feelings shows your child how to face difficult situations. Its okay to say something like, “You know, I’m uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked with me about it. But I want us to be able to talk about anything—including sex—so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll find out.

Bringing it up

1. Use everyday situations to start conversations. TV programmes are often a good opportunity to talk about relationships, or talk when you’re doing something like the washing up. This makes your child feel that sex is a normal part of family life and not a special subject.

2. Children notice the tone of what you say as much as what you say. So don’t get cross or put them down.

3. If you don’t know the answer, say so but find out later.

4. Try to be truthful as stories about storks delivering babies just confuse children.

What if my child does not want to talk to me?

13 year Mia would roll her eyes every time her mother would broach the topic of sex! She would rather read about it from Mills and Boons and the net, because she says, “the information is so cool and talking to ma is boring”. Teenagers often find it much harder to talk to their parents about sex, so it’s important talk to children when they’re much younger, rather than leaving it until they feel really awkward. You may have to accept that your teenager doesn’t want to talk to you. Children need privacy and the chance to make their own decisions, but to have your support when they need it. You can help by making sure that they know where else to get advice if they don’t want to discuss these issues with you.

Source: MSN India, India
http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1695993

12 November, 2008. 5:45 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Number of Kids on Medication Jumps Alarmingly

The number of children who take medication for chronic diseases has jumped dramatically, another troubling sign that many of the youngest Americans are struggling with obesity, doctors say.

The number of children who take pills for type 2 diabetes — the kind that’s closely linked to obesity — more than doubled from 2002 to 2005, to a rate of six out of 10,000 children. That suggests that at least 23,000 privately insured children in the USA are now taking diabetes medications, according to authors of the new study in today’s Pediatrics.

Doctors also saw big increases in prescriptions for high cholesterol, asthma and attention deficit and hyperactivity. There was smaller growth for drugs for depression and high blood pressure.

“We’ve got a lot of sick children,” says author Emily Cox, senior director of research with Express Scripts, which administers drug benefit programs for private insurance plans. “What we’ve been seeing in adults, we’re also now seeing in kids.”

Type 2 diabetes was once known as adult-onset. But Cox says her records show kids as young as 5 being treated with prescription diabetes drugs.

Cox based her study on prescription records of nearly 4 million children a year, ages 5 to 19, covered by Express Scripts. She says her findings may not apply to the 40% of children who are uninsured or covered by government health plans.

Unless these children make major changes — such as eating healthier and exercising more — they could be facing a lifetime of illness, Cox says.

“These are not antibiotics that they take for seven to 10 days,” Cox says. “These are drugs that many are taking for the rest of their lives.”

Cox couldn’t explain one surprising finding: Most of the increase in drugs for diabetes, attention deficit/hyperactivity and depression was seen in girls. The gender gap was most striking in diabetes: While the number of boys taking medication grew by 39%, the number of girls using them climbed by 147%, Cox found.

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-03-kids-meds_N.htm

3 November, 2008. 4:50 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Better than RITALIN

Research shows that a walk in the park can be just as effective as drugs such as Ritalin for children with ADHD or excess energy levels.

It’s been a brilliant week off. Your children have adored Halloween; they’ve loved trick or treating, and have gorged themselves on sweets and goodies all week. You don’t mind. Isn’t that what the autumn break is all about? You may have noticed, though, that all the sugar has made your children hyper. It may have been tough getting them to relax and get ready for sleep.

And now that they’re back in their normal routine you need to calm them down a little, so they can concentrate through the school day.

Returning to a healthy diet helps. But what if your children remain hyper? What if their natural energy level borders on ADHD?

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a growing problem. Drugs such as Ritalin help ADHD children; and the number of children prescribed them has doubled in the UK since 2002.

New research, though, shows that there’s a more simple solution. And that a walk in the park is just as effective as a daily dose of drugs.

Walking

Researchers at the University of Illinois took 17 hyperactive children on a walk, dividing them between the park, a town centre and a residential area. They didn’t take their drugs that day, but those walking in the park showed hugely improved concentration. In fact, the effect was the same, or even better than the effect of their normal drugs.

As little as 20 minutes in a park could potentially buy you an afternoon, or a couple of hours to get homework done,” said researcher Andrea Faber Taylor. And if it works for hyperactive children, think of the benefit to the normally boisterous child?

It’s something that Josephine Lara, mum to Thomas, 5, Max, 3, and Daisy, 8 months, has noticed.

“The boys have so much energy and sugar definitely makes them worse,” she says. “But if we’ve had a good walk, they are always calmer. I try to keep the TV off too. It can calm them down initially, but in the long run it makes them more hyper.

“The last Friday before Halloween the school said the children had eaten sweets all afternoon. I’d arranged to bring the boys to a playground. We were there for an hour and I didn’t have any problems with them. The parents who went straight home said their children were climbing the walls.

“We have family walks when we can. We’ll walk on a beach at Skerries or LoughShinny. Or we’ll go to a playground; there are some amazing ones around here; at Ardgillan Castle, Malahide and at Newbridge.

“We walk to school in the mornings. It’s not far and it’s a good start to the day. They’re allowed to run around at school — the Lusk Educate Together, so Thomas gets a good lot of exercise. And at home, if they’re hyper, I’ll send them out into the garden. That always helps.”

TOP REASONS FOR CHILDREN TO EXERCISE (From ACE- American Authority on Exercise)

1. Children who exercise are more likely to keep exercising as an adult.

2. Exercise helps children achieve and maintain a healthy body weight.

3. Regular physical activity helps build and maintain strong, healthy muscles, bones and joints.

4. Exercise aids in the development of important interpersonal skills.

5. Exercise improves sleep.

6. Research shows that exercise promotes improved school attendance and enhances academic performance.

7. Children who exercise have greater self-esteem and better self-image.

8. Exercise prevents or delays the development of many chronic diseases, including heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

Source: Herald.ie, Ireland
http://www.herald.ie/lifestyle/health-beauty/better-than-ritalin-1518888.html

3 November, 2008. 4:44 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Internet Addiction Plagues Univ Students Nationwide

Is our generation too heavily dependent on the Internet? According to a recent Wi-Fi Alliance and Wakefield Research survey, almost three out of five students would not go to a college that does not offer free wi-fi. In fact, “nine out of 10 college students in the United States say wi-fi access is as essential to education as classrooms and computers,” says the study.

Some scientists and writers suggest that spending a great deal of time on the Internet can significantly shorten a person’s attention span. The same survey states, “More than half [of the students surveyed] have checked Facebook or MySpace and sent or received e-mail while using their laptop in class.” I have seen, in my lecture classes, no shortage of high-achieving and academically motivated Brandeis students surreptitiously checking Facebook instead of taking notes. The temptation is strong. Is the Internet so addictive it prevents even the best students from concentrating in class?

The Atlantic Monthly recently published a popular article by Nicholas Carr titled “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” The Internet allows us a vast range of instantly accessible information; research used to entail hours spent in libraries poring over books, articles, newspaper archives and so on. Now we can click-click-click our way through the Internet, jumping from Web page to Web page, skimming through information from one hyperlink to another. In the article, Carr describes the effect years of doing so has had on his way of thinking: “My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.”

People who are used to reading on the Internet might find it difficult to concentrate on the linear narrative of a book. A New York Times article states: “Some traditionalists warn that digital reading is the intellectual equivalent of empty calories. Zigzagging through a cornucopia of words, pictures, video and sounds, they say, distracts more than strengthens readers.” Despite all the obvious advantages of having so much information at our fingertips, it is possible that the format in which it’s presented erodes our reading skills.

In general, it seems to me that spending so much time in the virtual world is slowly turning us into zombies. We are increasingly disconnected from real life. We spend less time outdoors or engaging in physical activity. We are so immersed in our technology we end up limiting our interactions with other people. Talking to friends on Facebook is not the same as talking to them in person. Talking to friends you’ve “met” on the Internet but not in real life doesn’t count at all. The more that technology advances, it seems, the more isolated we become; take the example of Netflix. Even the drive to the video store and the basic interaction with the guy behind the counter is no longer a necessary part of the process of renting movies. We can get them mailed to us directly, so we don’t even need to leave the house and make that tiny effort.

We seriously need to reevaluate our priorities. Do we really need wi-fi so desperately that we’re willing to cross colleges off our lists just because they don’t offer it in restaurants, classrooms, parks, coffee shops, even in our cars? Large percentages of students, according to the Wi-Fi Alliance, use the Internet in all these places.

Despite all its advantages, the Internet, when used so excessively, seems to impair our social skills and numb our brains. The survey even found that “If forced to choose, nearly half of respondents (48 percent) would give up beer before giving up Wi-fi.” For college students, that seems extreme.

Source: Justice, MA
http://tinyurl.com/5jcevc

30 October, 2008. 3:53 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Dare to Say No, Dare to Be a Parent

Many parents cringe at the thought of discipline. They also seem reluctant to have high expectations of their kids, or to hold them accountable for their performance. They do not want to “hurt” or “pressure” their children.

A harried mother approached me after my talk in an exclusive private school. “My son is at his computer till two in the morning,” she said. “He says he has to do a lot of research.” Her son is in first year high school, and has low grades.

“I do a lot of research,” I replied, “but I do not stay at the computer for more than a couple of hours every day. Your son is more likely playing games instead of doing his homework.”

She sighed. “I think so, too. My husband and I actually told him we would ban the computer, but he got mad at us. So we lifted the ban. What do we do now?”

I stifled a sigh. “You need to set limits,” I said. “An outright ban is difficult, because he needs to use the computer for tasks like word processing. But make sure he does not use the computer for more than two hours a day.”

“But he will get very angry!” she said. “He will tell us that he hates us!”

I looked her in the eye. Our children often say things they do not really mean. Your son will at first hate the fact that you are curtailing his leisure, but when his grades improve, he will be thankful, and so will you. Learn to say no—gently but firmly. Set limits because you care for him. He is your son, after all.”

Permissive parenting

In the incisive book Think, award-winning writer Michael LeGault discusses the lost art of sharp and critical thinking in American life. Permissive parenting is one trend; others are pervasive commercialism, anti-intellectualism, and promoting image without substance.

Without clear thinking and the willingness to persevere, LeGault says bad scenarios may repeat themselves such as the United States government’s failure to respond after Hurricane Katrina, the declining quality of US businesses, and the dismal scores of students in international tests.

I believe permissive parenting is one of the causes of educational problems not only in the US, but in our society as well. LeGault cites statistics showing that teenage boys play video games for 13 hours a week and watch television for another 25 hours. Many American parents are aware of this, but do not know what to do. In a 2001 Time magazine/CNN poll, 80 percent of Americans said, compared to kids of 15 years ago, their children were more spoiled; 35 percent said they were more permissive with their kids; 75 percent said children had fewer chores; 48 percent said children had too much influence in family decisions.

I am not saying that kids should have no say at all in the family, but when they stay up till the wee hours to play games, then something is wrong. When boundaries are not set, things go haywire.

In the past five years, I found myself becoming not just a teacher, but a de facto parent to several students, who suffered from depression, insomnia, anxiety; who slept no more than three hours a night, who did not eat well, who had sex without lasting relationships, who were angry at their parents and/or the world.

I ask them about their parents’ role. “Do your parents know you have not been sleeping well?” A shrug. “Do they know you are having sex?” A shake of the head.

Set limits

“Children not only need standards and rules for healthy social, ethical, and intellectual development,” says LeGault, “they desire them. [Standards lead to] good work and study habits, nurturing an outlook that aspires toward excellence, and acquiring a wide, eclectic base of knowledge … I think it’s a very valuable, realistic lesson to teach your kids at a young age that nothing is easy or automatic (even though it looks like it is), and that to be good at even one thing is going to take them way more work and struggle than they ever imagined.”

What happens when parents set limits? “Kids may sulk and be visibly unhappy,” LeGault says. “Parents can feel their pain but know it’s not going to kill them.” I repeat—it is not going to kill them.

LeGault says authoritative parents may appear “stodgy and uptight,” but they can take comfort in the fact that they are doing the right thing.

“The fear of growing up, or fear or loss of a child’s love and respect, or maybe just the path of least resistance, has led many parents to choose to be their child’s friend rather than their guide and mentor,” LeGault says. “Such an approach focuses on providing kids with material pleasures and comforts rather than demanding that they meet high expectations and do the work required to do so. The net result is a generation of adults who have transformed the traditional meaning of the child-parent relationship by adopting the most lax and permissive parenting practices in history.”

Thankfully, many parents have seen the light. Actor and comedian Bill Cosby urged his fellow African-Americans to become better parents in a 2004 speech: “I am talking about these people who cry when they see their son [in jail]. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol? The church is only open on Sunday and you can’t keep asking Jesus to do things for you. You can’t keep saying that God will find a way … People with their hats on backwards, pants down around their crack, isn’t that a sign of something or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?”

LeGault gives parents a rallying cry: “Dare to try to let your kids fail. Dare to say no. Dare to use punishment when your child misbehaves. Dare to turn off the television. Dare to make them do chores. Dare to kick them off the computer. Dare to turn their world upside down. Dare to set the agenda.” (…)

Source: Inquirer.net, Philippines
http://tinyurl.com/5sqehj

27 October, 2008. 4:25 PM. Link | Comments: 1 Comment »

Why Children’s Manners Matter

A few years ago, a restaurant owner in Chicago caused an uproar by posting a sign that read:

Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices.

I wouldn’t think anyone needs a sign to state the obvious, but in this age of permissive parenting, they do. Offended mothers mounted a boycott! They were shocked that anyone would dare insinuate their children didn’t have every right to climb onto the counter and start waving salt shakers over their heads.

Their contention? Perhaps it’s a display of their individuality through creative dance, and besides, “it makes little Taylor happy.”

Too often we expect others to do as we say and not as we do. Dinner service in a crowded restaurant is slow, and you snap at the waiter. You’re running out the door when the phone rings; so you grab it and say, “What do you want? I’m busy.” Do you treat friends and strangers with equal consideration?

Even if your manners are generally good, everyone slips from time to time, which gives parents the chance to highlight their own mistakes in front of their children, own up to them, and say how they will change their behavior in the future. If we model good manners, our children will be quick studies.

My own children haven’t always been angels, but when they err I immediately point it out and have them correct their behavior. At times I have made them apologize to the people that might have been bothered by their behavior. Because of that, there are numerous times on airplanes and in restaurants where employees will actually thank my husband and me for having such well-behaved children. I actually think this highlights the plight of manners in our society. I constantly have to correct their manners, and the thought that they are better than most is pretty scary!

While punishing bad behavior is necessary, there should also be a focus on acknowledging good behavior. One waitress came to our table and, in front of our children, detailed the bad behavior and poor manners of children who had been at a nearby table. She then thanked our children for behaving so well.

I think it really made an impact on them to hear it from someone else. They realized that good manners do matter to more people than just their parents! (And what do parents know anyway?) That said, it’s just as important to hear it from Mom and Dad.

E.D. Hill is a FOX News Channel host and author of “I’m Not Your Friend, I’m Your Parent.” She has eight children.

Source: FOXNews
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429727,00.html

30 September, 2008. 12:42 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Turning Boys on to Reading

When it comes to instilling a love of reading, husband and I have done everything right — or so we thought. We read together with the boys during the day and at bedtime. We go to the library regularly as a family. And through the years, the boys have shown their love of books by falling asleep with piles of children’s page turners on their beds.

But when it comes to getting 6-year-old to actually read by himself, well, that’s another matter entirely. Early reading books simply aren’t engaging him. We’ve tried “Little Bear” books with some success. “Frog and Toad” are stories he likes, but not if he has to go it solo. “Amelia Bedelia” makes him laugh, but again … he’s got no desire to pick it up like his Legos, for instance.

And so, we’ve lowered our expectations. A few paragraphs in a Star Wars sticker book … great! Signs on roads and buildings … sure. The Lego catalogue … um, is he actually looking at any of the words? Do the instructions on math worksheets count?

According to Jon Scieszka, I’m not alone in having a boy who is not finding reading material that truly engages him. Scieszka, who spent years teaching, is the author of The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales and is the Library of Congress’ first national ambassador for children’s books. He’ll be in Washington this Saturday for the National Book Festival on the mall from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

“We’ve had this problem with boys not achieving and reading for a long time,” Scieszka says, noting that although we’re generalizing about boys, there are always exceptions. “For the longest time, you couldn’t even say boys and girls were different. It was taboo in the educational world.” But different they are, biologically and socially, he asserts. Boys need “move time,” which they’re getting less and less of in school these days. “That’s how they’re built,” he says.

The biggest change we can all make in giving boys a love of reading is to expand our definition of reading beyond fiction, Scieszka says. Research shows that boys will read with their friends and want to be readers, but they want it on their terms. “They’d rather read nonfiction or humor, graphic novels, science fiction, action adventure, audio books, or online reading and magazines,” Scieszka says. Much of this reading, boys don’t even think of as reading, he notes. Also key: Include boys in choosing their reading material. Often books that were favorites of mom or teachers (who are mostly female) and librarians (also, mostly female) will feel like “going to the dentist” for boys, Scieszka asserts.

Great new titles are coming out every year, Scieszka says. He recommends Sterling Point Books’ redone autobiographies for older kids and Mo Willems’ Elephant and Piggy for younger ones. Other winners in his book: Tony DiTerlizzi’s “Kenny and the Dragon”, “Fog Mound Chronicles” by Susan Schade and Jon Buller, Eoin Colfer’s “Artemis Fowl” books; Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson’s “Neverland”, Neil Gaiman’s “The Graveyard Book” and Corey Doctorow’s “Little Brother”.

In the graphic novel realm, the publisher First Second has a whole range of graphic novels that appeal to younger guys and older ones. Particularly good is the Robot series for younger readers, Scieszka says. For middle readers, try Jeff Smith’s BONE series. And some boys really like Captain Underpants. Finding graphic novels can be a challenge, Scieszka says, because teachers, librarians and parents need to read through them rather than scan them for age appropriateness. Some publishers are starting to recognize this, though, and are putting age recommendations on the books.

And for nonfiction, Scieszka recommends Timothy Bradley’s “Paleo Bugs” and “Paleo Sharks”.

What reading material — particularly alternative reading — engages your sons?

Source: Washington Post
http://tinyurl.com/3gutut

27 September, 2008. 1:14 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Video Games Make Kids More Social

Contrary to popular belief, video games don’t turn teens into anti-social loners, in fact, they make them get more involved with friends and community, says a report.

The Pew Internet study of US teenagers revealed that only a small number of adolescents play alone, while most of them actually join their friends while gaming.

The survey of 1,102 teenagers aged 12-17 revealed that many teenagers even used educational games to learn about world issues and also became more involved in politics.

According to the report, gaming had become an almost universal pastime among young Americans, revealing that 99pct of boys and 94pct of girls across the socio-economic spectrum play some kind of computer or video game.

The most popular title was Guitar Hero, and was followed by Halo 3, Madden NFL, Solitaire, and Dance Dance Revolution.

Amanda Lenhart, senior research specialist at the Pew Internet & American Life Project, who wrote the report said that a majority of teenagers played a variety of different titles. “They range in terms of their content from things that are about solving problems to things that are about going out and shooting things, or driving things, or racing things, or playing a sport,” BBC quoted Lenhart, as saying.

However, she claimed that playing video games does not necessarily mean that a teen would become a loner. “Three quarters of teens actually play these games with other people, whether online or in person,” she said.

She also claimed that even if teens play games every day, it won”t impact their social lives. “People who game on a daily basis are just as likely to talk on the phone, to email, to spend time with a friend face to face outside of school as kids who play games less,” she said.

On the flipside, those teenagers who were forced to confront problems in virtual communities, had a tendency to raise money for charity, volunteer, stay informed about political issues, persuade others to vote or march in a protest or demonstration.

A large number of youngsters are playing games with a serious message. Lenhart said the report revealed that the amount of time spent playing computer games didn”t dent the amount of community engagement the teenagers took part in.

But, in her opinion, teenagers who played with other people in person were likely to be more engaged with their communities.

She also pointed out that previous research has suggested that similar exercises can directly influence social interaction and community engagement.

According to the results, Lenhart advised parents to monitor the games their kids were playing.

What we say to parents is pay attention to the games that your child is playing, see what they do in the games, and look for games that offer your child opportunities to have more civically-minded experiences,” she said.

Source: Times of India
http://tinyurl.com/3ffuvj

18 September, 2008. 1:20 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Parenting Similar to Running a Business

When my daughter was 10 she would sometimes say, “You’re not the boss of me!” This would always make me stop and think about the tone of voice I was using with her. Was I demanding that she do things or was I asking her politely?

Being bossy has nothing to do with setting rules. You can have rules and expect your children to follow them without treating them as if what they think doesn’t matter.

“I am my children’s mother and I should have the right to tell them what to do and have them snap to it,” a mother said to me the other day.

For starters, no one likes to be told what to do. And no one likes to do what they are told if the person bossing them around has the “I’m-the-big-dog-deal-with-it” kind of attitude.

Raising children is very similar to running a business. Successful leaders know how to motivate their employees. They know that in order to get the response they want from their employees, they have to earn their respect first.

If you want your children to respond to you, you have to learn how to choose your words carefully. The key is not to have to threaten your children every time you want them to do something.

A parent’s goal is to get their children to want to cooperate. A boss who doesn’t act as if he is higher up than his employees makes everyone feel more comfortable.

Employers who know how to communicate and motivate their team and acknowledge the positive in the group they govern have better results.

Same goes with parenting. Children have their positive points, and when we acknowledge this and then respectfully ask for the things we want them to change in their behavior, they will be more willing to cooperate.

Unless children understand what is expected, they won’t know how to act.

Parents need to be aware of how often they point out to their children all the incorrect things they say and do.

Just like in business, when you don’t let the people around you know you appreciate their hard work and only point out the mistakes they make, the group will get discouraged.

I’ve heard parents say, “How can I say anything positive to my child when his behavior lately is mostly negative?”

It might not be easy, but by finding at least one positive thing to say to your child every day, you will be changing the course of his behavior.

Good leadership also means admitting when you are wrong and apologizing when it is necessary. When you are late picking up your children from school or when you yell at them, don’t hesitate to apologize.

Parents who think they are not expected to do this because they are the adult, “the big boss,” should not be surprised when their children do the same. When you apologize, you are modeling how to admit you’ve made a mistake.

Successful parents treat their children with respect - they listen to their children. They value their children and talk to them about their expectations. They acknowledge their children when they do something right and encourage them to do their best.

And most importantly, they are always willing to give and accept apologies, which creates a more peaceful home environment. (…)

Source: Monitor
http://www.themonitor.com/opinion/children_17315___article.html/say_know.html

17 September, 2008. 1:50 PM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

Teens Popping Parents’ Pills for Easy High

Almost one in four teenagers is raiding their parents’ medicine cabinets for prescription drugs in a new trend dubbed “pharming”.

Australian youths aged 12 to 17 are most likely to take medications recreationally because they are cheaper, easier to obtain and mistakenly believed to be “safe”, a new study has revealed.

In a risky bid to maximise a “hit”, youngsters are crushing cocktails of pills and snorting the powder, mixing them with alcohol or even injecting.

Pharmaceutical medicines have now overtaken marijuana as the traditional teen drug of choice, with more than twice as many regular users.

Commonly abused drugs include anti-depressants, painkillers and ADHD medications, such as Ritalin.

In a new study of 2813 young Australians, researchers said the “most concerning” finding was that 23.5 per cent of 12 to 25-year-olds took prescription drugs recreationally.

Paul Dillon of Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia said young people commonly believed if a drug came from a doctor it was safe.

We live in a pharmaceutical world where there’s a drug for everything, so we are creating a generation of users,” he said.

Source: NEWS.com.au, Australia
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24340581-2,00.html

14 September, 2008. 11:58 AM. Link | Comments: No Comments »

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