Lying is something we don’t want our children to do because it undermines trust.

While pre-schoolers can mix up reality and fantasy, by primary school children should know the difference between the two.

There are many reasons why a child may lie. Sometimes it’s to avoid what they see will be unfair punishment. If children see others getting away with lying, they may try it.

Your child may tell stories to others to be cool. Children who tell boastful lies can be lonely, bored or have low self-esteem.

With younger children, it’s sometimes easier to tell when they’re lying. Their story doesn’t sound right or they break into a smile as their plot unravels.

A few simple questions can also reveal a lie. Asking how your child came to have $10 might include some calm, clear questions about when, where, who was with them, or the order of events.

To discourage lying, parents need to discuss it with their children. It’s important your child knows lying is unacceptable, and the effects of it. You could calmly tell your child: “I feel angry and disappointed when you lie. It makes it hard to believe anything you say. If you keep telling lies nobody will trust you.”

Give your child opportunities to be honest and praise them for it. Your positive response to their behaviour will encourage them to repeat their honesty. Tell them you will give them chances to be honest and try it out. For example, if you know they haven’t tidied their room, ask. You will know whether they are being honest.

If your child finds it hard not to tell lies, set up a written contract signed by you and your child. It should state what you expect your child to do and the rewards and consequences that will follow. Put it up on the fridge. If your child lies, the consequences are clearly listed in the contract. As your child learns to not lie, you will no longer need a written contract.

If your child owns up to doing something they know you would not have allowed them to do make sure you praise them for their honesty, before you deal with the misbehaviour. (…)

Source: springfield-news.whereilive.com.au - News Limited Community Newspapers, Australia
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