Five Things New Parents Need to Know
Parents have some homework to do, according to new findings presented at the Pediatric American Society meeting in Honolulu, Hawaii, this weekend.
The research shows that 31% of U.S. parents know very little about the pace of a typical infant’s development, whether it’s when a child should start talking or begin potty training. The data is based on an analysis of the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study’s Birth Cohort, a nationally representative sample of more than 10,000 9-month-old babies and their primary caregivers. Parents were asked to answer 11 questions, where those who got four or fewer correct were considered to have low-level knowledge.
While it may not sound like a big deal, experts say that this lack of knowledge can negatively affect parents’ interactions with their babies.
We asked study author Dr. Heather Paradis, a fellow in pediatrics at the University of Rochester Medical Center, why so many parents don’t know what to expect after expecting and what they need to know about their babies’ development.
Why do so many parents lack knowledge about infant development?
I think that parents get parenting information from a variety of sources, from reading magazines and books … most importantly, parents look for information from their child’s doctors.
There’s a lot of information that’s out there about what to expect when people are pregnant, but I don’t know that there is quite as much information on what to expect about how your child grows and develops in the first years of life, and there’s a tremendous amount of change. This study was surprising in just how many parents don’t have knowledge of normal infant development.
Do you have a sense as to whether this is a new trend?
I think that a lot of emphasis in the past has been placed maybe on what we would call “high-risk” parents–those with a lower education, lower socioeconomic status. But one of the surprising things that this study showed is that it’s not only those parents we should be targeting, but it’s something we should expand to the general population of parents. Everyone could benefit.
What was one of the most surprising things the study revealed in terms of parents’ confusion?
The most surprising thing to me was not necessarily what knowledge they did or didn’t have, but how that knowledge translated into actual behavior, or observed interaction with the child. That connection is something lacking in previous studies. This study showed that parents who have higher knowledge of normal infant development were shown to have higher (quality) observed interactions with their children.
The other thing is that we looked at not only parent/child interaction but parents’ reports of frequency of what I would call enrichment activities, such as reading books with a child, singing songs. We know early enrichment activities with kids leads to higher IQs, earlier reading, better school preparation. The parents with the higher knowledge of normal infant development also had a significantly higher reported frequency of doing those enrichment activities with their kids.
What are the potential negatives?
Parents who have unrealistic expectations could misinterpret a child’s normal behavior and could respond inappropriately. An example would be like a mom who expects an 18-month-old child to sit still during an appointment. Eighteen-month-olds are normally curious. I would expect them to be wandering around the room. If parents are expecting a child to sit still on a chair for an entire appointment, they may take normal curiosity and interpret it as intentional defiance, rather than the normal curiosity it is. That could lead to inappropriate harsh discipline or the withdrawal of affection.
I think quite often parents maybe underestimate a child’s ability to pick up language skills. A lot of parents don’t think that it’s worthwhile to read a book to their infant, to their 2-month-old, and they definitely should be doing that, even if it’s to look at pictures and let the child hear the normal qualities of voice. They might not understand the words the parent is saying but they definitely understand what’s going on and the interaction going on between the two of them.
How should parents go about educating themselves?
Certainly, I think it’s an opportunity for pediatricians that, even during our brief office encounters with parents, we can potentially do something that can have a large impact on the way that parents and children interact. I do think that getting information from reputable sources, asking a child’s doctor for recommendations on books and Web sites to get high-quality information, is something parents could do.
Source: Forbes, NY
http://tinyurl.com/68hrk2
May 5th, 2008 at 2:46 AM
May 2008
I am writing today as a mother and an educator who has witnessed the dissolution of family values, causing pre-adolescents and adolescents to become apathetic and often self-destructive.
The following is not formal research but observations from my experience as a teacher dealing with both parents & children. Moreover it’s the culmination of exchanges I’ve had as a mother who has dealt with parents as friends and colleagues.
America is in crisis, we are confronting numerous problems these days with our young adults: alcohol abuse, drunken driving, rising rates of suicide, obesity, anorexia, early sex, depression, gambling, violence among teens and against adults, dropping out of school, lack of respect for authority, etc. All are increasing. In my opinion, these issues all start within the home environment. Today, the home and the family are no longer cohesive. In many households the family does not function as a whole but as a number of individuals living under the same roof.
People may think that each example above is a separate issue that comes from a different source, each to be dealt with separately. In reality, there is one thread connecting them all- THE HOME.
As an educator and counselor, I’ve seen that students have no one to talk with and as a result they are lead towards alienation and self destruction.
Since both parents are usually working to make ends meet, even when they return home, there is little family culture and communication, sharing of values etc. Socialization doesn’t take place in the home. Children are left alone in front of the TV or computer and parents have no clue, nor direct supervision of the content presented to their kids.
Significant quality time - such as meals together- no longer takes place as in the past.
Many families in poverty think that they simply cannot deal with these education issues due to their overwhelming economic situation. A scenario which I believe is false.
Parents today are afraid of their own children. They want to please them but by doing so, they are enabling them: There are fewer boundaries, no demands.
Thomas Friedman (NYT) once said “Make a point by telling a story”. The following story may help us understand:
While I was teaching and acting as an advisor in high school, I created a group called “Girl Talk” attracted to the possibility of open discussion. Students revealed their difficulties being honest with their parents. In some cases, the teens were misinformed about sexual issues but were too embarrassed to ask questions. I was astonished they weren’t planning on sharing any of their issues with anyone especially their own families. All stemmed from lack of trust and fear of consequences. They did however, feel comfortable speaking with their peers. The catch was that peers often don’t have the accurate information.
The most important job on earth- Parenting- has no manual, no college degree, nothing formalized to teach or assist parents.
There is scattered material to be found: many books, internet sites, counseling services that provide assistance, but no school to attend to learn, research, and develop skills to be a better parent a center of education is needed to become a resource allowing committed parents to do a better job.
To help achieve this goal, I suggest opening schools for parenting nationwide. Parents should be able to attend classes and courses and receive help in more ways than one.
Schools, universities, and colleges already exist. The next step is to find the best professionals out there: psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, educators, etc, to participate towards this common goal.
By opening such a center for education we can provide parents with the needed tools to cope with their children. This impacts all our children, at all ages: babies, toddlers, pre-school, k-12, pre teens and teens. We can and must create a positive impact on our next generation.
This is an issue that needs to be dealt with - it will help our children become better people, more caring for their surroundings and emotionally healthier human beings. Ultimately it impacts our entire societal structure and future. I am passionate about creating solutions.
I would like to share my basic views towards parenting:
1) Unconditional love & boundaries, and being consistent at both are a key to being a good parent.
Kids need structure, a good foundation, values and who is to provide them- with that - if not their parents?
2) Start young; start talking early, when they are still willing to listen -when they become teenagers it is way too late.
Educate by example not only by words.
3) Our job as parents is not merely to please our children but to raise responsible caring human beings - who have a good education both from home and school - and eventually will be caring empathetic citizens.
These principles transcend all that divides us as a society.
There is no doubt in my mind that something can be done. I would like to raise this topic and challenge. It is my current path to find equally impassioned professionals, committed investors and progressive institutions to take part in this important task and go forward.
Thank you in advance,
Sincerely,
Cindy Womark Cheifetz
cindycheifetz@hotmail.com