Boys will, for Sure, Be Boys
Author delves into the differences in which boys should be raised in It’s a Boy
If you truly believe that there is no difference be- tween boys and girls, stop reading here. However, if you think that there are biological factors that make a difference in how boys and girls grow up and experience the world, then Michael Thompson’s new book may be for you.
Thompson’s premise is not very radical: While males and females have lots in common and are both valuable to society, there are certain differences that influence how they learn and grow from babies to adulthood. Boys learn better in active situations, whereas young girls have better focus in traditional educational settings. Boys are more likely to roughhouse with their friends, not because they are violent but because they connect better with each other via physical activity rather than verbal communication. And boys generally have a different emotional response to stress than do girls.
If you have a son, that might seem obvious. But Thompson goes a step further. He asserts that our social and educational institutions are shortchanging boys because they are set up for “girl” attributes. When boys behave like boys, they are punished, or at least discouraged from behaving that way. Boys suffer because they have fewer opportunities to genuinely learn in a positive, supportive environment, and he gives examples where boys feel unappreciated, often unfairly.
To raise boys well, parents and teachers need to understand what makes boys tick and how they can use boys’ natural inclinations to bring out the best in them. Thompson outlines these natural tendencies and makes useful suggestions for raising our sons to become healthy, productive men. He also tackles tough social issues, such as how to deal with different parenting styles (for example, some moms let their boys play with toy guns, some don’t); difficult teen issues (suicide and destructive behaviors); and basic inclinations (such as why boys love dinosaurs, trading cards and video games). But the greatest value is Thompson’s common sense approach to the fears parents often have with their boys, reassuring us that their natural tendencies are not “bad,” nor are they indicators of bad parenting. As he notes, “You should not have to feel that your son’s impulsiveness or activity levels are either (1) your fault or (2) signs that he is growing up to be an ax murderer. He is almost certainly not. If play-fighting and whacking another child (and I don’t mean that in the Mafia sense of the word) on the playground were signs of future aggression, then most men would be murderous adults, and they are not.”
Source: The Free Lance-Star, VA
http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2008/032008/03302008/364554
