The mail’s come in on who should teach “social skills” to tender-age children. As previously reported here, “social skills” is among the most cited reasons why some parents want local school districts to provide all-day kindergarten.

Apparently there are some who believe that if a child is not socialized early, away from home and by non-parents, the child risks becoming a social wash-up by age 6.

After that, who knows the dread ahead for such a kid. Not being picked for basketball in gym class. No date for the senior prom. All because of “SSDD” — Social Skills Deficit Disorder. Maybe a pill can be created for that.

A single, anonymous dissent came via voicemail, taking issue with my skepticism on the need for all-day kindergarten, with regard to the “social skills” argument. The dissent is refreshing because there is no pretense: “People … have to work to support their families.”

For this caller, the mask drops. It is not about social skill instruction for kids but about grown-ups and their work.

Of course, some grown-ups are in unenviable circumstances. That is, they are single parents struggling to raise and provide for their children. You would have to be hardhearted to begrudge this kind of parent placing a child in all-day K, or day care, or wherever the kid will be safe while the parent works. If you want a working class hero, observe a single parent trying to make a kid’s life as serene and as normal as possible.

But what of able-bodied marrieds who choose to work full time, but who wish to outsource social skills instructional sessions so they are not inconvenienced?

Most readers who responded do not sympathize with such people.

“It’s nothing but glorified babysitting for parents who want to go to work and have someone else take care of their kids for free. It’s my job to teach my children social skills. I take all three wherever I go — to the store, to the playground. I discipline them. Yeah, it would be great to go back to work, make more money and not be broke all the time. That is not fair to my kids. They did not ask to be born. I had them. I chose to bring them into the world and we can get by on my husband’s salary. No, we do not have all the expensive things, but it won’t always be this way.”

A woman: “Parents who want all-day kindergarten want money so they can buy things. Look at the cars that pull up in front of day cares. Maybe if they didn’t drive big [gas] guzzlers, they wouldn’t need to work so hard.”

A man: “Nobody has time for their kids anymore. I see kids go into day care when they are young, and they hang on to strangers. The love’s gone. I know what this feels like. I came out of an orphanage. I feel sorry for these kids.”

The trend is toward all-day kindergarten. Eventually, it will come to us, whether we want it or not. This is not to say it is the dawn of the Apocalypse. The wealthy have been outsourcing their parenting to nannies ever since there have been wealthy people.

Still, for us non-wealthy types, I wonder.

If we are too busy working to raise our own kids during their tender years, perhaps the problem isn’t the lack of publicly funded all-day “social skills” instructional services.

Maybe the problem is us, and our desire for more money, so we can buy more stuff.

Source: phillyBurbs.com, PA
http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/219-02282008-1495152.html