Some kids get “rulered,” while others are “whupped” or “popped.” Sometimes they get “cuffed,” “drubbed,” “blipped” or “boxed.” The semantics don’t matter, said Jordan Riak; it’s all a spanking, and, according to the longtime corporal punishment abolitionist, it’s unacceptable by any name, anywhere.

“The public is in denial,” he said. “You have to invent funny words to keep it from being serious. It’s cartoon language: ‘Oh, I’m not violent, I just gave him a butt-warming.’”

Riak, 72, is a retired teacher who has dedicated about three decades of his life trying to convince people that sparing the rod isn’t spoiling the child and using it can cause mental scars for life.

It’s a movement that has gained ground, particularly when it comes to corporal punishment in schools. The practice is now outlawed in 39 states, with legislation drafted by Riak leading to California’s ban in 1987.

“It has to start in schools,” he said. “If (teachers) do it, it represents authority, it represents the government condoning it. Parents say, ‘What’s wrong with it if the government can do it?’ And schools use the excuse, ‘What’s wrong with it if they do it at home?’ One hand washes the other.” (…)

“(Spanking children) is the same as husbands hitting their wives 75 years ago,” he said. “They’re supposed to honor and obey, and if she serves the coffee cold, well, then she gets a slap to remind her.”

He found his crusade when he moved his family to Sydney, Australia, in the 1970s. His 8-year-old son came home from school one day, terrified at seeing a classmate in tears after being struck across the palms for misbehaving.

“I was amazed that this was going on,” he said. “I was raised in New Jersey, a state that banned corporal punishment (in schools) when Abraham Lincoln was president. Even my mother thought it no longer existed in civilized nations.”

Riak went to the school and asked to see the switch that was used. He then refused to return it.

“I told the headmaster, ‘This is a weapon. It has no business in schools, and no business being used on children.’” Riak said. “Then I called all the media outlets and told them I’m turning myself in to the Paddington Police Station for the theft of government property.”

Riak took the publicity stunt and ran with it, often posing for photographers in his yard, burying the headmaster’s switch. (…)

At home, Riak’s son said his father set an example that he follows with his own children, ages 1 and 4.

“There are rewards for good behavior and a lack of rewards for behavior that isn’t good,” said Oren Riak, 42. “I could never imagine hitting our kids. If I raise my voice to my daughter, it’s shocking to her. I’d never raise my hand, that’s crazy. A grown man raising an open hand to a 40-pound girl is just nuts.”

Jordan Riak called spanking a lazy method of parenting: “If (children) are not listening, find a more skilled way to get their attention. If parents are looking for a one-sentence solution, they’re going to be disappointed. Parenting is a major commitment, and there should be lessons, like a driver’s education course before you can get behind the wheel. It should be as essential.” (…)

Riak acknowledged that people resent being told how they should raise their kids, and he gets his fair share of hate mail.

An excerpt from a December e-mail: “Without properly and thoughtfully applied stern discipline, (not useless timeout peter pan fantasy crap), a child will grow to be a disrespectful and anger filled person. … Don’t even think you’ll come into my home and tell me that I’ll not spank my child, you may just find yourself getting a season of applied leather education for yourself.”

Source: Bloomington Pantagraph, USA
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