(…) Does birth order have to impinge on our personality? It’s become almost a cliché to assume that a first child will be a responsible conformist; that the second will be tortured, and the third a clown.

New research, though, supports the theory. Scientists at the University of Oslo took the military records of 241,310 Norwegian conscripts. And they found that eldest children are, on average, significantly more intelligent than those born second.

They were on average three IQ points ahead of the second child — who was in turn a point ahead of the third.

And this isn’t just nature either. Petter Kristensen, one of the scientists conducting the research, found that when an oldest child had died, the second-born developed the characteristics of the first-born child. It was, he concluded, the role of being the oldest — not birth order — that counted.

First-borns tend to be high achievers throughout their lives. A recent poll in America found that of 1,583 chief executive officers, over half — 53pc — were eldest children. The findings don’t surprise child psychologist David Coleman, author of Parenting Is Child’s Play and presenter of RTE’s Families In Trouble, too much. And it’s not easy to change with ‘good’ parenting either.

“When you have your first child it is natural to invest a high amount of time and energy in them,” he says. “And once you have a second child — and subsequent children — you just do not have that same amount of commitment and energy. You have at least one other child to look after.

“It makes sense that the eldest child will always have some level of kudos. They are the first to try out different things. There are some negative aspects for first children too. They are likely to be more managed and more restricted by their parents. Parents may not be quite sure how much freedom and responsibility to give them as they get older.”

Second children have a fairly easy ride … at first. “They will probably not be bothered by having less attention than the first. They have grown up with the knowledge that they don’t have their parents’ attention all the time. It is not particularly a worry.

“But when a third child gets born, the second child suddenly thinks ‘wow, what is happening here? Where is my place in the family? I can’t be the baby anymore and I can’t be number one because someone else has already got that spot’.”

Second children, Coleman finds, tend to go one of two ways. “They will either be shy and reserved, but very helpful — always at their parents’ side, being sweet; or they become shy in outside company, but pushy and demanding at home. They may become less well-behaved so that they can become noticed.

“Third children,” he says, “will always get kudos for being the baby and the youngest. They will end up being that little bit spoilt, and they will probably get an easier ride. Their parents will have softened, and will not have the same amount of time to watch them. They will probably get away with much more. (…)

Source: Irish Independent, Ireland
http://tinyurl.com/2rq3ap