The government is about to launch a £30m training academy for professionals in England who work with families with problems.

Ministers aim to make a parenting course available to anyone who wants one, the hope being this will result in fewer children veering into anti-social behaviour.

Any parent knows that the question, “How do you make your child do what you want?” is not so simply answered.

And if your child regularly displays extremely disruptive behaviour you will undoubtedly feel exhausted, defeated and hopeless…

Here is a summary of some of the messages conveyed to parents during the three-hour session:

* However resistant your child is, don’t be reluctant to give commands - children feel safer when they know there are boundaries
* Reduce the number of commands to the necessary ones
* Be clear in your instructions. “Be careful,” for example, is vague
* Give your children a reason to obey. For example: “Once you have tidied up your toys we can read a story together ”
* Warn your children if you are about to expect them to break off from an activity. For example: “When you have finished that drawing, we’ll go to the shops”
* Speak calmly and politely to convey your authority; a whining “Please pick up the towels” is less likely to work, and getting angry should not be necessary

And when none of this works? Ms Verney comforts her class by quoting research which suggests even the best behaved children only obey two out of three commands.

There will be some who feel all this should and does come naturally to a parent. Ms Verney is adamant that assumption is wrong.

“How many of us drive and how many of us took driving lessons? We could have just been handed the keys. I think it’s more effective to go on a course.

“Even people in high-flying jobs go on management training. It doesn’t mean they’re bad at their jobs…

Ultimately the government’s aim is to ensure parenting classes are available to anyone who wants them.

Ministers believe support should be there not just for extreme problems but for any parent who wants a bit of advice.

But there are critics whose message to the government is: “This is none of your business“.

Claire Fox, director of the think tank the Institute of Ideas, believes generally parents know best and when they do not she insists the state does not know better.

The institute brings together parents who are interested in the politics around the family. One member of that forum is Jennie Bristow who is mother to a one-year-old and a three-year-old.

“Parenting isn’t a skill that can be taught and learnt, it is an emotional spontaneous relationship that develops between parents and children in a very private context in the home and should be left that way,” she said.

“I also think that parenting classes are based on a very arrogant assumption that someone with a degree in child development is better placed than you are to tell you how to bring up your own child.

“I don’t think that is true and I think it represents a very dangerous attempt for the authorities to get into the most intimate areas of our family life.” …

Source: BBC News, UK
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/7104376.stm