Children learn to trust that people can be counted on to respond to them in consistent ways through their interactions with their parents. When a parent is calm and patient in one moment, and angry and accusing like a Halloween monster in the next, it’s very frightening for children. They do not develop that crucial sense of optimism about the world that comes from gentle, predictable responses from the adults in their lives.

Kids blame themselves - “It must be something that I did that made Dad so mad” - and try to figure out how to prevent those harsh responses. They do not understand that the adult’s erratic behavior stems from his or her own inner climate, not from anything the child has done.

That’s why it’s so important for parents to learn to manage their own emotions. It’s easy to unintentionally unload onto your children your rage at the driver who cut you off, or your anger at the boss who belittled you at work today. When you feel impatient and angry at home, take a step back until those feelings subside.

No one manages this perfectly. But even when the day’s events have you pretty ruffled, kids need to be able to count on you to remain kind, unthreatening and in control of your emotions. In other words - be a teddy bear.

Source: Cincinnati Enquirer, OH
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071022/LIFE/710220301/1079