It’s the end of the school holidays: and what that means, for many British grandparents, is that life is going to be a whole lot quieter. With more and more parents working, grandparents have increasingly been pressed into service as childcarers: according to a recent survey, 64% of families with working parents rely on grandparents for at least some of their childcare, saving an average of around £2,685 a year (that’s a total of £6.8bn nationally).

Ask around, and grandparent-carers will tell you the same tale: they love spending time with their grandchildren, they enjoy being able to see them more than they might otherwise, and they’re happy to be able to help their adult children out (and pleased to save them money). But scratch the surface, and you find there are often niggles, and sometimes even creeping resentments. Grandparents, after all, have their own lives: the Skipton Building Society survey also found that 36% of grandmothers who do some childcare are also juggling paid jobs, at least part-time. Grandparents have friends, and hobbies, and are at a time in their lives when they want to indulge themselves: it doesn’t always feel good to be tied to a child’s routine all over again. There are financial costs - sometimes overlooked by working parents - and there are emotional costs too. And it’s not all plain sailing even from the point of view of the adult children: yes, they’re getting childcare for free, but what about all those sweets the kids are eating all day at Grandma’s? What about the fact that she never takes them to the library, or lets them watch too much telly?

All of which explains why in the US, where around 25% of grandparents care for their grandchildren for up to 29 hours weekly, campaigners are calling for the formalisation of an arrangement that can have huge benefits all round, but also comes with pitfalls. The American Association of Retired People (AARP) says even the most idyllic of situations can go sour if issues aren’t properly worked through: and the fallout for family relationships can be painful, and far-reaching…

Source: Guardian Unlimited, UK
http://society.guardian.co.uk/children/story/0,,2164646,00.html