Q: My sons turn 3 and 4 in July. Both of them consistently prefer me over their dad for the bedtime ritual and other caregiving situations. My husband is hurt by it. I understand it is common. Can you offer some suggestions as to how I can encourage my husband to take charge in a way that won’t upset my sons?

A: Since you’re the parent involved in your children’s bedtime routine, it throws your children off balance when Dad steps in to manage it. Your boys associate you with the bedtime ritual. Therefore, there is not a way for Dad to take over this routine without upsetting your sons. Nevertheless, your sons, husband and you will all benefit when they adjust to Dad conducting the bedtime routine every other night or so.

This situation occurs not because they don’t like Daddy; it’s because they like what’s familiar. Therefore, Dad needs to step in and take over so eventually his way will be as familiar as yours…

Source: Seattle Times
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003759095_faull23.html

… Most kindergartners are receiving more academic instruction than their moms and dads probably did in kindergarten.

The 5-year-olds who start kindergarten this fall will have to be ready to sit at a desk and pay attention to their teacher, stand in line and obey class rules. They will receive lessons in all of the academic subjects that children in the upper grades do, with the primary focus on reading and math. There will also be lessons in science and social studies, art and health and music. A school counselor visits the class to work on social skills and they also visit the school library regularly. Physical education will be introduced in kindergarten for the first time this fall, with kindergartners taking phy. ed two times a week.

By the end of the year, kindergartners will be expected to know their numbers and letters, colors and shapes, and to have some pre-reading skills. They won’t necessarily be reading fluently, said Wahlstrom, but the goal is for them to be ready to read in the first grade…

Source: Minot Daily News
http://www.minotdailynews.com/news/articles.asp?articleID=12142

The first visit to the dentist can be a big milestone in a child’s life, one that might require a little preparation to help them feel comfortable with a new doctor and new equipment.

“Many of the children have a preconceived notion that a trip to the dentist may be a bad experience,” said Dr. Paul Tetting of Tetting and Tetting DDS in Appleton.

“Most of the time there really is nothing to be afraid of,” Tetting said, adding that if parents can “maintain a positive attitude, that tends to help tremendously. The kids tend to take cues from their parents.” …

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children who are at risk of early childhood cavities visit a dentist by age 1.

More than 1 in 4 children in the United States have cavities by the time they are 4 years old, sometimes as early as age 2. To prevent early childhood cavities, parents first have to find out their child’s risk of developing cavities and then learn how to manage diet, hygiene and fluoride to prevent problems before they start…

Source: Appleton Post-Crescent
http://tinyurl.com/3cnv5r

Delegates to the American Medical Association’s annual policy meeting could vote next week on a push to include video game addiction on a list of psychiatric disorders. If approved, the behavior would be included in a widely used mental illness manual created and published by the American Psychiatric Association, and “victims” of the disorder could get insurance coverage for treatment…

We’re not naive enough to believe that there aren’t children and adults who spend entirely too much time playing games. But addicted to the point that they simply can’t hit the “Off” switch on the Playstation 2 and walk away from the game? We’re not buying it.

It sounds like another convenient excuse for people who don’t want to take responsibility for their personal behavior, or for parents who let their children rule the roost…

Source: Minot Daily News
http://www.minotdailynews.com/editorials/articles.asp?articleID=12109

Firstborn children score significantly higher in IQ tests than their younger siblings, according to a large study of 250,000 military draftees in Norway.

The researchers say the difference is due to social, not biological, factors, as younger siblings have higher IQs if they are raised as an eldest child following the death of an older brother or sister. The findings could suggest better ways of parenting the youngest children in a family…

The analysis revealed that firstborn men have, on average, an IQ that is about 2.3 points higher than those who are second-born. The trend continues such that second born men have higher IQs than their third-born brothers, and so on.

In the US, SAT exams in reading and mathematics have a combined total of 1600 points, and on these two sections a difference in IQ of 2.3 could mean a 30 point difference in scores, says Frank Sulloway, at the University of California, Berkeley, US. This can mean the difference between getting into a premier university or second-tier university in the US, he points out…

Sulloway calculates that a 2.3 IQ score difference means that the eldest child has a 13% higher chance of having above-average intelligence than the second-born in their family…

Sulloway explains that older siblings might have a higher IQ because they act as surrogate parents from time to time, tutoring their younger siblings in certain situations.

Another possible explanation is that parents have more time and resources to invest in their firstborn child. As a result of this, the eldest child usually has the most one-on-one time with its parents, and receives greater exposure to their sophisticated vocabulary.

Parents might be able to boost the IQs of younger siblings by scheduling in more individual time with them, Sulloway speculates…

Source: NewScientist
http://tinyurl.com/36uelx

I had bought The Sims Complete Collection against my better judgment because I’d seen the effect more basic computer games have had on my son in the past year or so since he started playing them on free children’s internet sites.

Since I bought The Sims, the problems have been exacerbated sharply - not least when I tell him it is time to stop playing.

He’s never had quite enough of the game, and calling a halt always provokes protests, sulks and strops.

Some parenting experts define spoiling a child as giving in to what they want, rather than doing what you a child as giving in to what they want, rather than doing what you know is good for them, and so, yes, I know I have only myself to blame for this domestic torment…

… As American sociologist and internet specialist Sherry Turkle writes in her book The Second Self: Computers and the Human Spirit, “what is missing in computer games is the open-ended role playing of free social play with friends in the real world where there are no rules, but there is empathy”.

The other big drawback is that children - and boys in particular - can become obsessed by these games to the exclusion of all else.

And it is a boy thing: the girl next door refused an invitation to play the day the game arrived, explaining that it was sunny and she didn’t want to go on the computer.

This gender difference has been observed by anxious parents and studied by academics almost since electronic games to be played at home were invented by Atari in 1972. (The first, Pong, was a video game based on ping pong.)

As one psychologist, James Hemming, commented 20 years ago, boys get obsessed by computer games because “the male has a need to demonstrate power, and if he can make tremendous things happen by pressing a button, then he is given a fantasy of power”. …

Source: Daily Mail
http://tinyurl.com/3444mx

With a Little Forethought, Parents and Teens Can Share the Good Times…

For those parents who cherished the hours at the zoo, the Smithsonian museums and the park with the little ones, the big question is: Is there life after the Puppet Co.? Is there a way to persuade our teenagers to turn off their computers and leave their bedrooms to indulge our desire to spend quality time together before we launch them into the world? How can we begin to compete for their time with the likes of driving lessons and SAT prep courses, summer camps and college trips, not to mention that social-networking phenomenon known as Facebook? …

During adolescence, children begin to separate from their parents. “This process often involves the need to move away from the parents physically and emotionally and can be the motivation for the well-known phenomenon of adolescent rebellion that includes negating the parent and the parent’s ideas, interests and values,” says Richard Fritsch, a psychologist at the Washington Center for Psychoanalysis.

But that doesn’t mean a complete parting of the ways. “The task of adolescents is to form their own identity while still maintaining affectionate ties with their parents,” Fritsch says.

Adds parenting expert and author Michael Bradley: “Teenagers aren’t as opposed to spending time with their parents as parents think.” …

Source: Washington Post
http://tinyurl.com/3ymtom

Japan has one of the oldest and most established systems of higher education in Asia, but today its universities are scrambling to find new ways to attract students. Years of falling birthrates have rapidly shrunk the population of young Japanese, leaving increasingly larger numbers of universities unable to find enough students to fill their classrooms and campuses.

The rapid graying of Japan’s population has already made its presence felt in other parts of society, including the lower rungs of the nation’s education system where hundreds of half-empty elementary and high schools have closed or been merged over the last two decades. But it has only recently begun to affect higher education.

According to census statistics, the number of 18-year-old Japanese has fallen to 1.3 million this year from 2.05 million in 1992, when the second peak of Japan’s baby-boomers’ children were entering universities…

Source: International Herald Tribune
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/06/21/news/japan.php

About two-thirds of U.S. moms with preschool children are employed, and many still worry that not having a full-time parent at home will hurt their kids. “I worry that we could do it better, that my husband and I are missing out on time with her that we will not get back,” Decter says.

Worry has been an ongoing theme since baby-boom women surged into the labor market. The percentage of mothers of preschoolers with jobs jumped from 30% to 60% between 1970 and 1990 and has edged up to 65% since then. But today’s parents have an advantage: Research on day care has greatly increased in the last decade, with findings that have been mostly reassuring…

Some parents were taken aback by a new finding in March from the longest, most thorough U.S. study on day care. The federally funded research, following 1,364 children from birth through elementary school so far, has gathered a massive trove of information about their parents, day care arrangements and how the kids are faring emotionally and academically…

Research is rapidly growing on how day care affects children, with studies underway that are more scientifically sound than ever, says Martha Zaslow, vice president for research at Child Trends, a group that tracks children’s well-being…

Source: USA TODAY
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-06-20-daycare_N.htm

Dana Gorman, a pre-school director and teacher in Connecticut, says parents across the country grapple with this decision every year.

“They worry about what to do. They don’t want their children to have to repeat or to hold back. They want their children to stay with their friends and go to school with their friends that they’ve made in preschool, so they really worry about it. It’s an important decision and they want to do right by their children,” she said.

Gorman says parents should consider things like the child’s age, maturity, reading ability, and social skills.

The National Center for Education Statistics found that close to 10 percent of 5-year-olds are academically redshirted — the term coined to describe this growing trend of holding kids back a year. Boys are twice as likely to be redshirted as girls…

Schwartz said there are some important things to consider when making this decision:

# Consider your child’s development, social skills, ability to reason through problems and their language skills.
# Talk to preschool teachers and see what they think.
# Find out the kindergarten’s expectations. There are two kinds, Schwartz said. One type is very academic where children are reading and writing. The other kind is more developmentally oriented and focuses on thinking and reasoning skills by learning and playing.
# Parents should follow their instincts.

Source: CBS NEWS
http://tinyurl.com/ysrt79