Most parents treat their children unequally - but don’t admit it to themselves, let alone their kids, according to researchers from two U.S. universities who tracked 74 families.

When kids perceive unequal treatment and don’t understand it, families run into trouble, says researcher Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied family studies at the University of Illinois who worked with two other researchers from the University of Missouri.

“Kids aren’t in a position to appreciate why parents treat their kids differently,” Prof. Kramer says.

“They don’t have all the information or they don’t have an adult perspective.”

But if children recognize the different behaviour as being warranted, there’s no negative effect on family relationships. Siblings who have a shared understanding of why parents treat them differently actually get along better, Prof. Kramer says…

One reason they may be disinclined to talk to their kids about the issue is the enduring ethos of equality. Parents may feel guilty about not treating kids equally. But Prof. Kramer says equality is a parenting goal best discarded…

Source: Globe and Mail
http://tinyurl.com/377kwx